Features

Let It D: Tenacious D, The Greatest Band in the World (or Maybe the Second Greatest, They’re Still Working That Out)

Somewhat along these lines, the two of you have opened for a number of bands over the years, particularly early on. Which group’s fans were most supportive and which ones weren’t quite down with the D?

KG: We had some early dates with Tool and they just didn’t get it. I don’t think they wanted to get it and it just didn’t go well.

JB: The audience didn’t like it but Maynard the lead singer of Tool loved us and kept on trying to force it through. We did one show where it couldn’t have gone worse, really, the audience was really anti-D. This was before we had an album and then he was like, “Dude, you guys were incredible. I want you to open for us in San Diego…” And then we went down there it was even WORSE and that was it.

KG: On the other side, we opened a show for Beck and the ticket said that the show started at nine.

JB: Show starts at nine.

KG: And they said, “Okay, you guys go on at eight.” And we’re like, “But everyone thinks the show starts at nine, why do we have to go on at eight?” “It doesn’t matter, don’t read those tickets. Start at eight.”

JB: No, it wasn’t that bad. The show started at eight and they said you guys are on at 7:45. Just keep it to like a 15-minute set. Literally when we started there were two people in the audience and by the end of our set people were filtering in.

KG: But they enjoyed it.

JB: We thrive under those conditions.

KG: Another time, we opened for the Pearl Jam at the forum.

JB: The Great Western Forum which is a massive auditorium where the Lakers used to play.

KG: Pearl Jam was headlining of course. X played before them and in the third spot was Tenacious D. But we had to go when they barely had the lights off.

JB: The lights were not off.

KG: The lights were half-dim.

JB: The lights might have dimmed a bit. I don’t know that they did at all. We walked out, the lights were on, people were filtering in. It was another one of those where I don’t believe we were on the ticket or the marquee. And I couldn’t really hear that our volume was up in the house.

KG: No, I don’t think so.

JB: I think the people out there for the most part thought we were some kind of a soundcheck crew, checking things onstage. But once again we really brought a lot a fervor. It might have been one of our best shows.

KG: The piece de resistance, though, was the Miller Genuine Draft Blind Date. I don’t know if you remember the Blind Date but they would fly a bunch of drunks in who won a contest at a bar.

JB: Who then could then drink all the Miller Beer they could drink, for free.

KG: And they’re going to get to see a band that they don’t know. It’s a blind date, get it?

JB: So everyone there was drunkenly thinking they were going to see…

KG: Led Zeppelin.

JB: Or whoever their favorite band is. And zero percent of them were hoping it was Tenacious D. So the curtains open, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Tenacious D!” and instantly there’s this feeling, “Okay, this is some kind of joke and they want us to boo these no-names off the stage. No problem. BOOO! Throw ice! Cups! FUCK YOU!” And this is before we even got through ten seconds of the first song.

The thing is, we were getting paid quite a bit of money to do this show and we have been paid to play a half-hour. To my mind, if we don’t play a half-hour they may not pay us. They may find some shitty loophole, so we’re going to do it.

About 20 minutes through it, we’re coming to the finish line, I look off to the wings and our friend Lee is going to come in as Spiderman. Except he’s off in the wings with the Spiderman hat off, going [JB makes a cut gesture, drawing his fingers across his neck].

KG: He didn’t want to come out

JB: And then it just turned into an exercise in pure torture.

KG: We were actually supposed to play four but we only played that one.

JB: But we did not quit. They fired us and they had to pay us [high fives all around].

Speaking of loopholes, in the road documentary that’s on the DVD, there is that one moment where the two of you are backstage before a show and Jack says, “This just doesn’t feel right.” Then you joke about finding a loophole to get out of the gig. Is that a common occurrence? A Blind Date by-product?

JB: We’re always looking for a loophole. Pretty much every concert we’ve ever done, we’re trying to find a way to cancel the show at the last minute. There’s people out there chanting, “D! D! D!” And that’s something that causes nauseous ness when you hear it backstage. I don’t want to go out there. I want to take a liquid shit and run out the back door into a van that takes me away from the city. But then we go out onstage and we are transformed instantly into these Gods of Thunder that have all the power and zero fear. I don’t know how it happens.

KG: It’s easier to go forward, when you can’t go back.

JB: Three [JB and KG share three high fives].