Features

My Page: Ben Kweller (and a Bonus Conversation with Jason Schwartzman)

The above video debuted last week in which actor/musician Jason Schwartzman interviews Ben Kweller “and his gold-metal winning stunt double.” Here’s a look back to the April-May 2009 issue of Relix in which Kweller had a page to himself…

I just found out that Relix wants me to write a whole page for their mag. What a cool thing to get asked to do! So cool that I’ve been procrastinating for days because I have no fucking idea what I could write that would be worthy of such a page.

I definitely don’t wanna write about my favorite songs. I just did that for like six other magazines. I could write about my love for bass fishing and how I prefer spinner baits to crank baits, but how I also understand the importance of a good Texas-rigged worm when bites are slow.

I could write about how I just moved to Austin, TX and think it’s the best city in the world. How there is more nature and outdoor activities here than any other city size. For instance, we swam all summer. Each time in a different river, lake, spring, grotto—all within 30 minutes of town!

Everyone is so nice and helpful here. It’s almost weird having been in NYC for nine years. I mean, the people working at Home Depot in Brooklyn just really don’t give a shit about you or their job. You go to a Home Depot in Texas and they’ll talk to you all day about the perfect sized hand-drill bits or sand-paper grits.

While it’s good to be back in my home state, maybe I should write about something a little more personal or music related? My two-year old son Dorian is a sick drummer. For real. He keeps time better than most people I know. His favorite drummers according to his YouTube history are: Mark Stepro, Huck 2.5, Ringo, The Wiggles’ drummer, and Steven Adler (Appetite-era).

As I write this, I stare into my Apple computer and realize how long I’ve loved Apple. I’m starting to feel like a Nirvana fan who loved Bleach before Nevermind came out. The good thing is, Nirvana never started to suck. I hope Apple can keep it together.

Did you know I actually hate writing? I do. My hand can’t keep up with my brain. You should see all my sketchbooks. Some other language, I think. I can type pretty fast with my two pointers, though. I’ve gone through a million voice recorders through the years. The best ones were the cassette recorders. When mini-disc came out that was cool ‘cause you could name each idea right there on the spot. I recently got an M-audio recorder that sounds better than any recorder, ever. It doesn’t work half the time, therefore it’s the worst one I’ve ever had. The best recorder I use right now is on my iPhone. It’s an app called “Recorder” and it’s great. I also use “Four Track” which is rad for multi-part nugs. In a pinch I’ll use my Flip camera to capture ideas. I really don’t want this to be a tech piece though.

Maybe they wanna read crazy shit like the time I got a prostitute while living at The Chelsea Hotel or how I snorted coke with Marilyn Manson when I was 16. Nah, I don’t really want that stuff printed. My parents might read it. It was bad enough putting them through the acid trip that put me in the hospital when I was 14! I really should start writing my stories down though. I don’t wanna forget it all. Like the time I played guitar with Tom Petty and Joe Strummer or went to Madonna’s house. I never kept a journal.

Ooh! This reminds me of my obsession with Twitter! I said I wouldn’t do a tech piece but Twitter is more of a “lifestyle” thing anyway. It’s like a journal but you can’t write more than 140 characters. A micro-blog if you will. “The new haiku,” some say. Reading back over this word doc reminds me of a joke.

Question: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: Hey, ya wanna go ride bikes?