Features

12 Great Fake Bands (Relix Revisited)

From our September/October 2006 issue

Stillwater

Twenty-two years since the ultimate phoney baloney rock ‘n’ roll extravaganza, This is Spinal Tap, hit the silver screen, countless fictional bands have come along to tickle our funny bone. Some, like Stillwater, have inspired us. Others, no thanks to HBO, never seem to go away. Here’s our tally of 12 of the most ridiculous and memorable made-up bands.

1. Spinal Tap, This Is Spinal Tap. Do we have to explain this?

2. Stillwater, Almost Famous: Feeeeeeever Doooog! Before Jason Lee was Earl, when he was just “the lead singer of the fuckeen band!”

3. Citizen Dick, Singles: Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell at their most hilariously cheesy—backing up Matt Dillon in a make-believe grunge band.

4. Ruckus, Elizabethtown: My Morning Jacket—save their drummer—rock out “Freebird” at the climax. There is a god!

5. The Folksmen. A Mighty Wind: Spinal Tap’s gentler, softer, balder alter-ego. “Wha happened?”

6. The School of Rock, The School of Rock: “Raise your goblet of rock,” dammit. If you don’t like Jack Black, we don’t like you. Go away… Seriously, stop reading!

7. Steel Dragon, Rock Star: Marky Mark battles that dork from Third Eye Blind, before cock-rocking with members of Dokken, Bonham and Ozzy guitarist Zakk Wylde. Let’s see those horns: \m/

8. Mitch and Mikey, A Mighty Wind: Here’s a stretch—Eugene Levy acting crazy. But, come on, how hilarious is that kiss!?

9. Electric Apricot, Electric Apricot: Les Claypool pokes fun at us jamband dorks. But, really, aren’t we all on the quest for Festeroo in some way or another?

10. The Lone Rangers, Airheads. Adam Sandler on drums, Steve Buscemi on bass, Brendan Fraser on guitar and vocals… Clearly, this was before Buscemi was cool.

11. Mystery, Satisfaction: Family Ties’ Justine Bateman gets her ya-yas out, only her fictional bandmate Britta Phillips actually went on to find satisfaction as the bassist in Luna.

12. The Barbusters, Light of Day: Joan Jett and Michael J. Fox slug it out in a Cleveland club, when not stealing steaks at the grocery store.