The Toronto Blue Jays and Texas Rangers played a seventh inning for the ages last night in game five of the ALDS. Let’s try to sum it up concisely. “Try” being the key word here as everything came unglued very quickly and aggressively. 

A quirky play that broke the tie between the teams in the top of the seventh inning, allowing the Rangers to pull ahead. The Blue Jays fans in Toronto responded by disposing of their cold beverages on the field. 

In the bottom of the inning, all hell broke loose (again) as Elvis Andrus committed three errors to load the bases before Toronto’s Josh Donaldson hit a bloop single to score a run that tied the game. With two men on and the game tied, Jose Bautista, a destroyer of worlds and the great hope of Canada, sent a baseball into orbit for the world to see and also gave us a bat flip for the ages. 

Look at this glorious display of dominance. The baseball was killed dead and then the bat had its soul tossed from it. Bautista is both the hero we need and the hero we deserve. 

And of course, because baseball is stupid and the people who play it are really stupid, the Rangers got all in a huff about Bautista’s bat flip and subsequent celebration, causing the benches to clear. When benches clear in baseball, there’s a lot of staring and talking. It also serves as a workout for the guys in the bullpen who have to run out from center field. Everyone loses here.

After the fake tough guy display, Toronto fans threw more trash on the field, Rangers manager Jeff Banister had a fan arrested AND THEN THE BENCHES EMPTIED AGAIN. You really have to watch the whole thing here as it is a beautiful disaster straight out of something a WWE writer would pitch.

In the stands last night was Rush’s Geddy Lee, as he always is when in Toronto. Lee got a first hand look at the chaos, calling it the “weirdest, most intense inning I’ve ever experienced in my years of loving baseball.” Thankfully for Lee and the rest of Blue Jays nation, it went their way in the end as they defeated Texas to move onto the ALCS. 

Hear Geddy’s take on it below.