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So...you wanna be a rock 'n' roll star?
It’s never too late to indulge your fantasies, as our intrepid publisher Steve Bernstein learns, when he packs up his mandolin and heads for… rock ‘n’ roll camp! Did he make the cut—or did he go running home to mommy? Find out as he indulges his inner rock ‘n’ roller.
I was hesitant at first. Attending Rock ‘n’ Roll Fantasy Camp as a 45-year-old made me feel a bit like Will Farrell in ELF: totally out of place. Before I boarded my flight toL.A., I was ribbed about panty raids, color war and all sorts of other adolescent adventures that evoke feelings of a simpler time. It’s true that you’re assigned a camp counselor, eat meals at long tables (without bug juice) and spend a lot of time with your band (bunkmates) but there is nothing prepubescent about the five days I spent there. You’re there to play music, rub elbows with legendary musicians and experience the feeling of being on stage with a rock ‘n’ roll band.
David Fishof, creator of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Fantasy Camp, created and produced Ringo Starr and the All Star Band; as a result, he has great connections and gets participation from A-level artists. With the theme of the week being the songs of The Beach Boys and Kiss, legends Brian Wilson and Paul Stanley were both on hand. To kick off the week, Fishof bravely dressed up like Gene Simmons, complete with requisite makeup and tongue action (which more closely resembled an overgrown lizard searching for prey).
Calling All Campers
The adventure starts with an audition right after arrival at S.I.R. studios in Hollywood. Campers are given an advance list of songs from which to choose. This is merely a way to gauge level of expertise; no one gets sent home. Talent levels at the camp I attended (February 15-19, 2007) ranged from near professionals to those who had never played an instrument before. I use an electric mandolin and don’t play it the traditional way; I was self-taught by a lousy teacher. I worked on a few tunes for my big audition but my flight was delayed so I missed my chance to debut my skills, which likely would have been about as meaningful as being the fastest sloth.
Being the only mandolin player made it easier to be assigned to a band, compared to the overabundance of guitar players. There were 87 campers split into 13 bands. Each band is assigned a counselor and ours was Spike Edney, the keyboard player and musical director for Queen since 1984. Spike is an amazing musician who has played with everyone from Clapton, Bono, Bon Jovi and Elton John to Pavarotti. It would be easier to list those he hasn’t played with.
Other counselors included Jeff “Skunk” Baxter, founding member of Steely Dan and a member of The Doobie Brothers; Clem Burke, member of Blondie; Spencer Davis, the legendary rock star fromWales whose hits “Gimme Some Lovin’” and “I’m a Man” featured a young bandmate named Steve Winwood; Artimus Pyle of Lynyrd Skynrd; Bruce Kulick of Kiss; Simon Kirke of Free and Jane Wiedlinof The Go-Go’s.
In addition to the counselors, special guests stop by the practice sessions, jam with the campers in the evening and perform small, intimate shows. Artists included Dickey Betts, who jammed late night and also sat in with every band at the House of Blues, where each band performed two songs; Mickey Hart, who led a drum circle for campers and guests; Bret Michaels of Poison; Scott Ian of Anthrax; and Steve Vai, who had the good fortune of having his high school alumni, Joe Satriani, teach him guitar when he was 13. Most of my friends from high school should be recognized for teaching me how to jump turnstiles and open a car door without a key.
Never Mind the Sex Pistols...
Over five days we spent about six hours a day practicing. Having a good counselor is not just important but also part of the fun. In addition to eating meals with them, they led open jam sessions at night, so you really get to know them as individuals. There was no rock-star attitude at all; if anything, they made the campers feel like the stars and there was plenty of time for autographs, pictures and schmoozing. I have met my share of rock stars through my position as publisher of Relix, but I still got caught up in the moment, giddily lining up to meet Paul Stanle for a photo. Bret Michaels was sor elaxed talking with Jane Wiedlen’s band that he failed to notic that his bell-bottoms caught on fire from one of Jane’s mood candles.
Each band chose two songs out of a hat to perform. We chose the Beach Boys tune “409” and the Kiss tune “C’mon On and Love Me.” Try playing that on a mandolin. As Paul Stanley said to me, “I’ve never quite heard a version like that before.” Our mandate was to learn these songs and then play them for Brian Wilson and Jeff Foskett of The Beach Boys and have Paul Stanley provide vocals on his own song. Talk about pressure. I think I’ll go tee off with Tiger Woods next.
The band I was fortunate enough to be paired with were a mix of 40-somethings from as far away as Nova Scotia and Fort Walton Beach, Florida. In addition to my mandolin we had three guitars, two drummers, two lead vocalists and counselor Spike on keyboards. Our band needed a name and we settled on one centered around our guitar player, Dave. In real life his nickname is “SuperDave,” as he is an imposing figure onstage (and everywhere else he goes). We settled on “The Super Dave Clarke Five” (math wasn’t our strong suit). Dave had guitar picks with a Supe Dave-Superman logo on them and he flicked them from the stage during our gig likehe had been doing it all his life. The crowd ate it up.
We practiced hard over the five days and learned a lot from Spike about playing in a band, giving each instrument its tonal space while listening to others and feeding off them. We also learned from our British maestro how to use the word “bollocks,”and its every possible nuance.
The big finale of the week was the battle of the bands at the House of Blues. This is where we get to live the rock-star fantasy and show off our skills. (In addition to our Kiss song, we chose to play a medley of famous riffs followed by Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me.”) We were the last band to perform but it was a fullhouse right to the end, undoubtedly because of the counselor allstar jam that followed and not for my crafty mandolin playing. We hit the stage and our band got right to work. We had friends and relatives cheering us on, holding up signs reading “Marry me SuperDave” just to get the crowd going while our lead vocalist “Proud” Mary showered the crowd with Mardi Gras beads for effect.
We didn’t win and no one seemed to care as we walked off the stage, flying high. The euphoria from playing with some of rock’s greatest musicians stays with you for a long, long time. Every camper I spoke to was thinking about returning. For me, it was the bollocks.
To watch our performance at the House of Blues, visit: www.relix.com/fantasycamp
Pack Your Bags...
www.rockandrollfantasycamp.com
1-888-ROC-BAND (888-762-2263)
The places: Hollywood, CA, New York, NY, Las Vegas, NV, London & Liverpool, England
The schedule: Various throughout the year
The people: A-list musicians include the likes of Roger Daltrey, Bill Wyman, Brian Wilson, Jack Bruce, Paul Stanley, Scott Ian, Spencer Davis, Mickey Hart, Dickey Betts and many more
The $: At $9,499 for five days the cost is not inconsequential but can you really put a price tag on bringing your fantasies to life?
Extras: Guitar manufacturer Gibson was on hand with guitars to try out and to help with any technical issues
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